Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Consider this pt. 7...

We will be sending out the loan sharks on Saturday.

Some of you have not sent us your entrance fee for the 2012 Saint Louis Bike Polo Lock-In. Trying to get into the Lock-In without settling your debt will result in you receiving a baseball bat to the kneecaps.



If you still have outstanding debt, make sure you bring cold, hard cash on Saturday. Otherwise, your Lock-In experience will be spent outside in the parking lot with the crackheads trying to break into cars.


And on that note, last year, while we were having a blast inside of the Skatium, assholes were outside smashing windows and rummaging through cars. This seems to be a problem in the area surrounding the Skatium. Scumbags have been known to break into cars in search of guns. To avoid having your car damaged during your stay at the Skatium, we recommend you do the following:


-Take everything potentially of value out of your car.
Seriously. Take everything. One car that was vandalized last year simply had a cell phone charger stolen. Leave your valuables at the home of your STL host or take everything with you into the Skatium!


-Leave your car doors unlocked.
Ask the Cleveland guys what it was like driving down the highway in January with a trash bag poorly replacing a broken window. If you don't want your window(s) potentially smashed out, just leave the car doors unlocked. Roll your windows down too while you're at it.

-Park as close to the Skatium as possible.
Once everything is officially rolling inside the Skatium, we'll try to rearrange cars so that we can cram as many as possible into the Skatium's parking lot. The most vulnerable cars seem to be the ones furthest away from the Skatium.


-Leave a note!
Leave one on your window or the front seat informing any would-be thieving bastards that the doors are unlocked and there is nothing valuable in your car or in the trunk. Tell them your head unit won't work once it's pried out of your dash. Tell them that your car is a waste of time and effort.




It sucks that we have to deal with this junk, but these are simple solutions to a potential problem and a way to hopefully keep your windows from being smashed to bits. Ideally, these steps will prevent everyone's Lock-In buzz from being ruined by South Saint Louis City hood rats.

3 comments:

  1. Cash is king and I'm bringing it bitches!

    ReplyDelete
  2. park each other in so there's no way to really get into any car?

    ReplyDelete
  3. (by pushing the cars into place, of course)

    ReplyDelete